Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
