Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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