Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Still dying that you shit outside
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
