Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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