I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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