i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Pooping to opera.
Randomize