at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize