we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
When did angry sex become our thing?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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