You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
