So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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