Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Girls should come with a carfax report
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
