My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
