Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
cat food counts as protein by the way
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
