So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
