I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize