i don't like sucking hair
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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