Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
