Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
