yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
