worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i think i just lost a toe
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
