There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize