C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm bleeding and have questions
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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