i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize