no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
