How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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