you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
