Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
