i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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