the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
