all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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