we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
