im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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