Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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