at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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