i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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