clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
