There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
