If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
tell me about the fingering
Randomize