if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
