he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
