I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize