for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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