im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
