They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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