Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
