So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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