And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
