you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
