ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize