hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
