I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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