he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
