i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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