HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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