rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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