yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
