First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
