DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
