the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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