i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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