I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize