my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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