How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
