Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
